You have just recieved the Amish Computer Virus. Since the Amish don't have computers, it is based on the honor system. So please delete all the files from your computer. Thank you for you cooperation. I dropped my keyboard when I find it I'll get back to you. Hi. This is (YOUR SCREEN NAME)'s computer...he/she is away, but I'm open for suggestions! Please hold for the next avalible represenative... that would be me, but I am not here so please continue to hold. I'm not here right now but if you scream really loud into your monitor I might be able to hear you! Has your mind ever just gone blank? Well sometimes that happens to me and...WHAT? What was I talking about? My mind just went blank. Help!Ican'tfindthespacebar! WARNING: Cannot locate away message, please restart your computer and try back in 365 days. Help! I've fallen and can't reach my mouse! People that scan away messages for entertainment are pathetic. Let me know if you find any good ones. Do NoT Type like Tis... It MaKeS you LoOk ReT@RdEd. Please read this away message then go away. There are three things I hate in this world: 1) Lame away messages. 2) People who can't count. Okay, I have an idea. How about I just put up an away message, and make it seem like I have a life, even though I'm probably sitting at the computer... rocking back and forth, humming the theme to Sesame Street... Back in my day, we had to walk 5 miles in the snow to tell people we were away from our computers. Never take advice from somebody else. - somebody else I did what they say and chose the road less traveled.... Now where the heck am I? I'm not here right now because my dog just ate my mouse and I'm waiting for him to poop it back out. My parole officer needs to use the computer. The voices inside my head, don’t like you. So go away! I am not here because I am engaged in a game of hide-and-go-seek with my imaginary friend. I will be back as soon as he finds me. Do not count on me being back soon, because it's hard for me to imagine him finding me because I'm such a good hider. Hello, this is Death. I am not in right now, but if you leave your name and number, I'll be right with you. This away message is here to keep you company. It's not you... it's me. How do you keep an idiot in suspense? Leave a message and I'll get back to you... When I was younger, my parents encouraged me to walk and talk. Now, all they want me to do is sit down and shut up!